Q: How many male novelists does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
A: The beast, which had represented his feelings, was dead. “I think I’ll do a pushup,” he announced to the sea. The sea respected him for it.
“Male Novelist Jokes" by Mallory Ortberg.
wanna make a secret handshake it involves us touching our mouths together for three hours
all my feelings of today in one picture
Becoming an actress may be ‘middle child syndrome’– my way of getting noticed. When there are seven people around the table there’s a lot of shouting to be heard. My mum recalls how I’d hide bits of her jewellery so I could be the one to bring them to her when she noticed they were missing. If that’s not a cry for attention, what is?
Claire Danes & Hugh dancy | 66th Annual Primetime Emmy Awards
best part is that it’s even scarier when they lift the cup and nothing is there and they think it got out
i think you need a nap satan